David & Madeleine Poulain: May 2008

How do David and Chelsey get along? In order to find out we've interviewed them both (traduction en français)

====== Chelsey ==========

As you might know I'm a conservative. I am a proud supporter of the 2nd amendment (the right to bear claws), and I am against illegal immigrants. For months now I've had to bear the presence of one of them called "baby".

When he first arrived it wasn't pretty. He started to steal my job [mommy's attention]. But he's turned since into a real MONSTER! Because now he can move on his own! To top it off his specialty is headbutting (note from the translator: he indeed has a tendency to go head first, and he has a nice big strong head). If he gives me one, given the size of his head compared to mine, I'm going to have the ears at shoulder level!

I'm no racist, but whenever there's something dodgy to do, well, illegal immigrant are always in! That's why they should stay in the can.

Fortunately this one is most of the time behind bars. But the humans sometime temporarily free him. How irresponsible! It's Willie Horton's furlough program all over again! When this happens, I better watch my fuzzy tushie because the first thing he tries to do is to harass me.

Generally the humans tackle him by the ankle to prevent him from annoying me. But why can't they stop him BEFORE he's within an inch?? And why is he on the loose in the first place? He should stay in prison, or better yet, go back where he came from (note from mom: that ain't happening!)

Especially once the humans weren't here to stop him, so I had to take care of the matter myself. I was quietly in my corner, spy... looking around. He was gutting a crash test dummy [a feline plush]. Then suddenly he notices me. For a second we look at each other ("The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" theme song). And the next second he rushes towards me ("Jaws" theme song). I had to show my fangs and threaten him with a swipe in the air to block before I carefully retreated. That should team him!

I could of course attack him and get rid of him once and for all. But the law is not on my side, and my 6th sense tells me that mom would wax me from ears to claws if I did that (note from mom: you betcha!)

I'm sick of living in this bleeding heart liberal state where they let criminals on the lose harassing law-abiding citizens and get away with it! I want to move to Texas where I'll have the right to use my weapons to defend myself!

===== David =======

My model is Indiana Jones. I'm just like him short of a few details [a 4ft detail]

Like Indiana I'm into archeology. I have to say I was born for that: I live with two fossils from literally another millennium. I love to roam and explore the world - which also looks very, very ancient.

Indiana does stunts? So do I. Just today I was climbing a cliff [he was standing up, leaning on a wall]. Indy survives great falls? Same deal! The other day I survived a 1ft fall! Stunts are in my blood.

But the most exciting moment of my archeology career is a furry creature called "Khi-Ti". I suspect the two ancestors who live with me to have conjured it up a long, long time ago using an ancient spell [the very secret Mah-Sta-Kah-R'd spell].

I'm fascinated by this creature. I tried to know more about her, but it's been a challenge. Several times I was inches away from reaching her when a magical forces knocked me on the ground [dad's holding son by the ankle]. Couldn't move any farther. How frustrating!

One time though I was able to get very close to the Khi-Ti. I was studying a lifesize statue of her when I notices her. After a short thinking, I decided to go for it ("Indiana Jones" theme song). First remark: the Khi-Ti is very friendly, albeit with weird behaviors. She first invited me to grab her teeth then game me her paw. But she gave her paw too fast so I wasn't able to catch it. And then she ran off. She must be shy.

But I'm not giving up!